Live Like We're Dying

The past six weeks have been a whirlwind. So busy the days seem to blur together. My work at The English Language Institute, the blast of new classes, feel good moments being a part of MAVS for UNICEF, my senior year at UT Arlington, moving my 20-year-old kiddo up to the Arlington area, and getting over the hump I always seem to feel during Christmas time.

Christmas does a number on me and until recently I haven't been about to pinpoint exactly why I feel that way. I dread winter. I think about many things, including how many more Christmas times I will get to spend with my daughter and loved ones.

Congenital heart disease is a bitch on the emotions.

This year I kind of skipped over the winter blues when an amazing gift flowed into my life. The craziest things seem to happen to me. A serendipitous moment comes to my mind.

My ex-boyfriend from my first year after high school drifted back into my life in 2009. Jim Akers. It’s been 23 years since our young romance, but it was unforgettable. I know for sure that the young man I used to love like a young girl does, is as awesome as he was back “in our day.”

So many good things come to mind. But now one sad thing ties us irrevocably together and it’s not the many hours spent rolling around in the hay, partying like rock stars, and both of us trying to figure out just who we were.  

Dying young.  Yes, we share that common denominator now.

After Jim came back around all this time later we both had some sad news to share with one another. Jim has HIV/AIDS. I have congenital heart disease and survive with valve failure thanks to valve transplants.

We share the realities of living on the edge of death with diseases that are killers. Jim told me in written words, “Don’t cry, but I have HIV/AIDS.” I read it three or four times when I opened the message, and then tears flowed freely. I sat alone in my home office at my desk unable to fathom the words in that e-mail.

No way. No. No. No.

Dying young. For me? Yes, quite possibly. I can handle that. But, the people I care for dying young? I can’t handle that well at all. As I write this my eyes well up with tears a bit and if I were at home writing I would let the tears flow.

Jim has been living an incredibly extended life with his AIDS diagnosis. It amazes me. It should. What he does to exhale the next breath, well, there is no way to really describe it unless you’ve been to the edge of the deep dark depths of the canyon of death. The edge is scary. I’ve lost my footing on that edge, but somehow managed to crawl up; clawing, fighting, and screaming inside about dying young.

 “What is that pain in my chest? Why am I short of breath? Is this it? Will I die soon? If not now, is it next week that I run to the emergency room for the 1000^th time? Will anyone go with me to get help? Or will I die alone? Doesn’t anyone care? Someone please do something.”

So, I may not be able to save myself, and if I can’t do that what can I do?

I can shout from the rafters, “Someone listen! Jim might die. Please help me to save him.”

To hell with you HIV. 

That is what I am thinking about and I can’t stop it. Jim is on a mission to ride 545-miles, for 7 days, with AIDS/LifeCycle. I’m on a mission to be his cheerleader. I have a big voice, but not big enough to kill HIV/AIDS.  I need your voice too.

The gift here for me came to life when Jim described to me what he does to make the most of each moment of his life. He doesn’t save his money for retirement. He doesn’t climb the professional ladder so much. He’s not stuck in a rut. Nor am I. We don’t have time for that.

He get’s out there. He writes, travels, sings, smiles, jokes, shares his time, loves his friends, loves a stranger… he rides his Cannondale down the coast of the California, not so much to save himself, it's about everyone else. I’m amazed at his positive outlook, and I have been changed for the better having him back in my life.

Folks, HIV/AIDS could be over. All it takes is people like Jim for people to take a second look.

I think he would tell you, “Appreciate your life, make the most of each moment, be selfless as a human can be, live passionately, make a conscious effort everyday that you put your feet on the floor to help someone else. Open you eyes and open your heart." So I have and I will. 

Let's live like Jim. 

Let’s live like we’re dying. 

What about those gold encrusted textbooks?

The Text Book Conundrum

Don’t break the bank account.
Forget the balancing act: Eat or buy textbooks?
Never be upset again about the college book store buy back rip-offs.
Don’t raise your student debt by 28 percent using credit cards to pay for textbooks.
Don’t go without a textbook that you must have for an assignment or two but will never use again.

I could not resist writing a silly rhyme about my text book souvenirs. These are the buy-back rejects and I store them on a dusty shelf near my study desk, many of them never once opened.

The Bookstore Blues: Rhymin’ and Stealin’

By HollyJoWard

35 Textbooks sat on a shelf;

13 hard-backs and 22 paper backs, most of which were little help.
35 topics chronicling three;

Years of college, that were far from free.

35 bound texts: Algebra, music, and government;

Speaking in public, books on art, and one about wealth.
History, sociology and one never opened — The title? “Your Health.”
35 deposits multiplied by one-hundred and twenty-four;
The average price of one book at the college bookstore.

Put your money in your pocket or save it at the bank.

Close your purse and your wallet now…don’t wait;
Plan your semester in advance;
And you too can avoid the textbook rip-off dance.

Hope is here. There are options. One must never step foot in the college book store again if they so choose. Anyone can find reading and learning materials needed for college classes without going there. Never fear “old” friends; there are several small solutions to one big problem, the college campus book store.

The campus book store is the Neiman Marcus of book stores and I always get tagged for a t-shirt and a hoodie along with my books if I set foot in that store. For those that pay nearly every dime of educational expenses this is a very scary place. Honestly, when I walk or drive by the fancy book store on campus I feel a pang of regret for the amount of money I’ve spent there. I don’t have happy stories to tell you about that place. It is the place where I dropped over 500 hundred dollars for three text books my first semester at UTA and at the end of the semester was refunded only 15 dollars for “like-new” textbooks.

See below my ten tips on saving big money each semester on books.

Never Say “Never.”

Onward!

Holly

 Ten Textbook tips

1. First and Foremost: Never, never, never go to the UTA book store first. If you must go, at least go there last. Exhaust all other resources for locating textbooks (note the next two words) IN ADVANCE for the next semester. In advance means you must sign up for your classes at the beginning of the prior semester. Look up your classes and professor and read the syllabus to find out required class texts and materials.

2. Be ahead of the pack. Know what books you will be hunting for and save a ton of money.

3. Friends = Resources.

Every time you set foot in a classroom there are at least 30 chances to make friends with a classmate who shares something in common with you – they have to buy books too. Every friendship with a classmate is freaking fantastic. We’re all in the same boat, so don’t be shy. Get to know at least five of your classmates within the first week. When I say “get to know,” that means: Get their first and last name, exchange text/cell phone numbers and e-mail addresses, become FaceBook “friends.”

Make no bones about the fact that you would like to partner up and share a book. There are at least 30 people that you know who need the same book you do and would much rather pay 35 dollars for a shared book rather than 70 dollars (or more) for a personal copy of a textbook.

4. FREE BOOKS – these two words excite me. You can check out a textbook for one month and then check it out for the two months consecutively following. Free books that are yours for the borrowing do exist all you have to do is look at the four libraries available to UTA students.

5. Arlington Central Library: arlingtonlibrary.org

101 East Abram Street

Arlington, TX 76010

(817) 459-6900

Search for a textbook: http://arlingtonlibrary.org/browse

Apply for a library card online: http://polarisweb.arlingtonlibrary.org/Polaris/patronaccount/selfregister.aspx?ctx=1.1033.0.0.1

6. UTA Central Library: Search for a textbook and check it out here: http://www.uta.edu/library/.

7. Rent it. Visit https://rental.bkstr.com/TextRentalWeb/logon.orca to rent a textbook for one-third of the price of owning it.

8. Discount Digital textbooks are a great alternative if you can’t rent your book from UTA. One of the best sites is Chegg.com, they have great prices as well as student help and tutorial availability: http://www.chegg.com/etextbooks/.

9. Walk-in and Internet book stores: Local stores - Half Price Books , # 170, 770 Road to Six Flags St. E, Arlington, (817) 274-5251 www.halfpricebooks.com; The Book Rack‎, 2304 W. Park Row Dr., # 15, Pantego, (817) 274-1717 www.thebookrack.com; Half Price Books , 2211 S. Cooper St., Arlington (817) 860-5247 www.halfpricebooks.com.

Book stores on the Internet. http://www.chegg.com/etextbooks/; http://www.textbooks.com.

10. Remember rule one: “First and Foremost.”

Learn Something Every Day

Hiroshima - 広島市, - the capital of the largest city in Japan, located in the western region (Chūgoku) on the largest Japanese island, Honshu.

Hiroshima is best known as the first city in history to be destroyed by a weapon of mass destruction by the US Army Air Force.

The atomic bomb was released at 8:15 a.m. on Aug. 6, 1945, near the end of World War II.

The word Hiroshima (広島) translates into the English words “Wide Island.”

Do the Ten Step Program: UTA Financial Aid

Getting rewired into my summer classes at UTA almost fizzled out Wednesday. I sadly must admit that I had a financial aid meltdown when I went to do a cursory final check on my financial aid on the second floor of Davis Hall. I made it a point to make a personal appearance twice during the spring semester to check on my summer student loans. They said everything was OK. I just wanted to make sure there were no problems paying for classes and that I had funds to cover a portion of my living expenses. I had a gut feeling saying, “Go check one more time just to make sure you’ve been funded for summer classes.”

A young work-study student manning one of three positions to help students with financial aid dropped a bomb on me that nearly devastated me just like the atomic bomb that leveled Hiroshima in ‘45.

“Your FAFSA application was selected for verification before you will receive further financial aid,” she said. “You have no financial aid available now; you have to fill out a verification worksheet and submit an official IRS Tax Transcript.”

I could feel anger rising up inside of me. Hadn’t I been told "everything is OK" on my last visit to these offices just weeks earlier? I stood there for a moment as I morphed into person I don’t like to be. I tried to wrap my head around what I was told, “Sorry, but you will not be able to go to Summer I classes.”

I’m sure my eyes were bulging out of their sockets and I know all the blood must have rushed to my face because I felt weak in the knees and a bit faint. I was hot as Hades. The work-study student hardly blinked. Was she human? She had a blank look on her face, which irritated me all the more. She looked like one of those people with no clue they have overdosed on Botox treatments. She showed not even one micro-ounce of emotion.

I am certain she had been trained to regurgitate the ugliest phrase known to older-student-kind, “You have been selected for verification.” They  probably learn these words in some secretive one minute financial aid training for work-study students. She handed out this terrible news like she was working at the McDonald’s drive-thru. She might as well have been saying, “Would you like sauce with your nuggets?”

I vaguely remember her assuring me that nothing could be done to salvage my summer classes that I had so carefully selected six weeks earlier. And as for the living expense money I was counting on, well, I could forget about paying my rent and bills all summer too. Not nice.

Whoo-hoo. I was one of the lucky winners of the financial aid special surprise. I had been selected to play the unpleasant game of “Untangle Yourself from Heavy-Duty, Strong-Adhesive, Double-Sided, Non-Perforated, Financial Aid Red Tape.” It was all kinds of fun. There were new rules, more forms to fill out and I had to jump through five more hoops. Yes, that’s right – there ARE more forms waiting for a special select few to fill out each semester. Do worry… you could be the next winner.

I had to fill out the 2012-2013 Verification Form she handed me and was told I had to apply for a Tax Transcript from the IRS. I was informed that it if I requested an IRS Tax Transcript that day it would be approximately three weeks before the IRS would have the documentation mailed to me and then it would take the Financial Aid office at least two more weeks for the Financial Aid genie to compare my FAFSA Application with the Verification Worksheet and my IRS Transcript (This is the mother of all lies. They accepted a copy of my most recent tax return).

It was at this point that I gathered myself up and refused to accept the bad news. I emphatically said that I would stand in the Financial Aid Office as long as it took to repair the damage to my well-laid summer educational plans. I filled out the Verification Form and handed it in with a copy of my last tax return.

The moral of the story: Fight for your right to be educated and never accept the phrase “nothing can be done.” I assure you, something can be done. Long story short, I was “verified” and my financial aid was pushed through that same afternoon while I sat under a tree at the MAC trying to compose myself.

I’d like to keep you from going through this most unpleasant experience so I have 10 good tips for non-traditional students going to UTA on financial aid. I hope they help you continue on down the happy trail while earning your degree from one of the best  institutions of higher education in Texas. 

Never Accept “Never.”

Onward!

Holly

Ten Tips

1.      Make no assumption everything is okay. Check in with the Financial Aid Office at the beginning of each semester, at mid-term and then one more time before the end of each semester. Ask for documentation of your visits and financial aid status.

UTA Financial Aid contact information:

Phone: 817-272-3561
Fax: 817-272-3555
E-Mail: fao@uta.edu
Web Link: http://wweb.uta.edu/ses/fao/

UTA Financial Aid Office – Davis Hall

2.      Go to the Financial Aid office in person in Davis Hall on the second floor. Yes, I know, it’s not a pleasant thing, but going in person will save time you time and frustration in the long run. They have a phone number but no one is on the other end (I have been on hold for upwards of 30 minutes before giving up). I have never had a real person pick up the phone at this office. If someone were to pick up the phone they will not discuss specific financial information over the telephone.

3.      Know government and UTA deadlines for submitting your FAFSA. http://www.fafsa.ed.gov/deadlines.htm

UTA Financial Aid Deadlines and Changes for 2012-2013

·         All 2013 Semester Deadlines Have Passed

·         There are changes to the 2012-2013 award notification process and how you report anticipated enrollment. It is very important that you review these changes by visiting this web page: http://wweb.uta.edu/ses/fao/important_changes.aspx

4.      Request an IRS Tax Transcript for each year in advance. You may need it at the last minute. Don’t wait to order it until the last minute. File a transcript request when you file your taxes. Requests can be made online at www.irs.gov or by calling 800-908-9946. This is a link to online Tax Transcript requests: http://www.irs.gov/individuals/article/0,,id=232168,00.html

5.      Fill out and submit a Financial Verification Worksheet in advance every semester whether they require it or not. Ask for documentation of your submission. This is the link to the UTA verification worksheet: http://wweb.uta.edu/ses/fao/assets/pdf/12_13/verification.pdf

6.      Always allot a good amount of time when visiting the Financial Aid Office. Take a number, be seated and open up a good book.

7.      Don’t talk to a work-study student about your financial aid. They don’t know much and they really don’t care about your future like a staff member hopefully does. Always speak with a financial aid counselor to get everything done correctly. You can do this nicely with a good measure of assertiveness. Would you let an 18-year-old stranger balance your check book or file your taxes? Why risk your educational plans? We are not spring chickens.

8.      Document everything, keep a copy of everything, never give away your original documents without having a back up original and organize your documentation for easy access.

Do these eight steps and…

9.      Save yourself time, lessen the new gray hair to pluck out and avoid a possible panic attack.

10.   Start off each semester with ease and put your energy into your studies instead of fighting your way through the process of affording your course work.